Realizing Your Dreams

As kids we are told to follow our dreams and dream big.  As adults we are told to stay in touch with reality and to keep our heads out of the clouds.  As we live and learn we must be able to come to a reconciling of these mind sets where we make our dreams reality.  Here are some helpful tips to realizing your dreams and goals. Whether they are long term or short term; these steps will help you get there.

Visualize it!  In order to go anywhere you have to see where you are going right?  This is the first step to realizing your dream.  You have to see a picture of where you want to go, what you want to do, and how you will get there.  This is where you derive you vision statement for your mission/dream/goal.  Many times we never realize our dreams because we never follow through and take steps towards fulfilling that dream.  Creating a vision can be as simple as writing the dream down and how you plan to achieve it.  It can start very small with a paragraph or two.  However, as you get deeper into the process, you will add to it.

Verbalize it!  Here is where you take yourself through the process.  This is something you can do alone to start.  However, it is more effective if you do it with someone you feel comfortable sharing with or someone who is resourceful in the area that you are focused on.  Talking things through out loud is a great exercise when you are creating a plan to reach any goal.  When you hear your thoughts you are better able to visualize and bring a deeper understanding to your thoughts.  If you are with someone, they are able to add to your thoughts and make connections you would have never made doing the exercise alone.   This is an ongoing process and as you move through your plan you will have to answer questions.  Here are some questions to answer during these times:  What is my goal?  What is my motivation?  What steps do I need to take to get to point A or point B? From these questions and answers will come more questions and answers which will lead to a more detailed plan.  But be careful not to stray from your original goal!  The more detailed you are, the better your chances are for achieving your goal as long as you maintain your focus.  Be selective and share with like-minded individuals or people who truly love and support you.

Vitalize it! This is the step that involves the most action.  All of the time that you have spent writing your plan, thinking out loud and giving detail to your plan will come to a climax as you begin to actually do those things you have been only dreaming about!  It doesn’t matter how you start this step as long as you start.  Every step counts!  You have carefully planned it out so go for it with complete confidence that you will succeed! 

No matter the age or place in life, we all have goals and dreams that we desire to achieve.  If you can see it with your mind’s eye you are already closer to achieving your dream that you realize.  Now it’s time to intentionally visualize, verbalize and vitalize your dream until it is your reality.

Sunja Harris

Sunja writes, sings and acts.  She is in the process of getting her networking group, DASI.  She says, "I am always ready to share whatever gifts and talents God has blessed me with.  I love to encourage others to do the same". https://www.facebook.com/sunja.harris.9?fref=ts  
https://www.facebook.com/DASI2015/?fref=ts

Jealous, but in a Good Way

There’s a moment in life when you realize it’s time to face the issues that you’ve been trying to avoid for years.  That happened to me this year as I finally accepted that envy is one of those things that’s been hanging around longer than it should.  And in a way I knew it, but I wanted to delay it for as long as I could. Who wants to accept that they have issues with jealousy and envy?

I think one of the reasons I didn’t feel the urgency to deal with this is that since I was a little girl I’ve heard things like: “I am so happy for you, I am envious” or “I’m so jealous of you, but in a good way.” There’s a mixed message where envy could be good or it could be bad, so if we try hard enough we could always categorize our envy as the good kind and go on our merry way.

But I noticed that wanting what others have isn’t right because I end up with a sense of emptiness and nothing good can come from that.  I’m ready to let go of the things that are taking away and stealing from my life, and I want to share something I decided to do once I realized my issue. These simple ideas have brought peace in my life, and as I do them often I’m noticing a change in my attitude and my joy:

1.  I made a list of all the people that I envy now or that I have envied in the past, even if I didn’t think about them often.  I wrote their name and what I wished I had that they have. (I am almost sure that we all have our own list hidden deep inside)

2.  Each day I take some time to be grateful for what I have, what I’ve accomplished and what makes me happy related to the areas I wrote in the list above.

3.  I think and write ways I could achieve the things I wish I had.

4.  Finally, through faith I ask for blessings for the people that for some reason I have felt envy, believing with all my heart that good things will happen in their life, and I also ask God to guide me so I can improve what I need to improve. 

I’m not telling you to do the same, since I don’t even know if envy is an issue you need to deal with. All I want is to invite you to think about those things that you may be avoiding. Give yourself some time to deal with those recurrent thoughts that don´t do you any good and that with time, become big, important matters. Then, ask yourself how can you change them into something that helps have a better life. After all, who doesn´t want to live a good life.

Ana

Life is Created in the Everyday

The other day my daughter’s vintage clothing store, My Closet Etc, was part of a vintage market in Atlanta, our city.  We were nervous, excited, and a little fearful- the normal mixture of feelings you get when you do something for the first time. The morning of the event we disassembled the clothing racks, packed them up in the car along with all the clothes and beautiful things she sells.  I put the screws and bolts of the racks in a bag and placed them by my purse since I knew I couldn’t forget them. I started getting ready but I didn’t like my outfit so I changed a couple of times, and of course had matching purses with each new option. Finally as we were driving toward the site, I realized that the one thing I wasn’t supposed to forget was buried under a pile of clothes and purses on my bed at home. I knew that without the screws and bolts we wouldn’t be able to set up, so we kept driving, unloaded the car at the site and I headed back home.  I was so mad! It was something so simple, all I had to do was take the screws, was that so hard? As I felt the stress rising, I tried to quiet my thoughts for a second.  In the middle of my frustration I hadn’t noticed how beautiful the morning was.  The sun was peeking through the tall buildings playing with the shadows and making a beautiful sight. Then I noticed there was no traffic, I rolled down the windows and the crisp morning air blew on my face soothingly.  At that moment I made the decision that nothing was going to mess up this beautiful day.  I decided to change my attitude.  

This may not seem like a big deal, but that’s what life is made of, the daily experiences, the activities, situations, and the people we see day by day. That’s when we create memories, and build relationships. That’s what the people around us will remember.  Life is created in the everyday; therefore how we live each day is how we live our life.

We choose what we focus on, and many times we tend to pay more attention to the negative because for some reason it may look more menacing than what it really is.  Maybe it’s fear that enlarges things or the way we have been raised, or the way society has taught us to look at things.  But we can train ourselves to see the positive in everything because no matter the situation there’s always something good.  These ideas may help:

-Be flexible: Go beyond the “I planned, I thought, I wanted”.  Plans often fail and that’s ok because many times that’s when the best memories or lessons in life are created.  Be open to change and go with the flow.  Willing to let go of what you are holding on so tightly will help you enjoy more the moment.

-Be on the lookout: Be determined to find something positive in every situation no matter how hard.  Make it your purpose to keep a positive attitude. With time it will become a habit and an immediate reaction to everything you face in life.

-Make it a story: Have you ever been around people who tell really cool stories? Well, most of those stories originated from moments in which plans went out the window and things took a wrong turn, but their attitude helped them see the positive.  They not only learned something new in the process, but were excited to share it with others.  Do you think if everything went as planned for those people, would they have that many stories to share?

As I arrived to the booth I saw my daughter who smiled nervously, happy I had finally arrived. While she waited, she met other vendors, and learned from their experiences.  We set up our beautiful booth, took some photos and even had time to sit down and have a coffee.  It was, after all, a very good day.

By Manuelita @manuelitaotero

Love Yourself and Forgive

What do you think when you hear the word “forgiveness”? Do you think about a difficult situation in your life? Or maybe about a person who hurt you deeply? Sometimes we think forgiveness is for big events; however, our life is made up of daily instances, and forgiveness plays a part in them as well.

Think about it, how much more peaceful would your life be if you practiced forgiveness throughout the day?  Forgiveness is all about letting go and there are many things that happen daily that might be stealing your time, energy, and peace because you are holding on to them. These are small things; maybe even “insignificant” things in the great scheme of life.  For example, in the rush of the morning, you burn your toast, and allow that moment to set the tone for the rest of the day.  Or maybe you are driving and someone cuts in front of you and your anger ruins your commute. If we look back and analyze all the instances in which we allow certain situations to steal our joy and our peace we would find several moments that could have been better if we had let go of the negative feeling and forgave others and ourselves.   

It is difficult to practice forgiveness because it is deeply rooted within us. It relates to justice and our idea of being treated fairly. To add to the challenge, many times we think that if we forgive, we are being passive and “weak”. The truth is that there’s nothing weak about forgiving. On the contrary, it takes strength, courage and self-control.  It takes character and wisdom because it’s all about being willing to go against what we want at the present moment to be able to enjoy a better future.  It’s doing the right thing not only for others but especially for ourselves, because when we forgive we are free.

There is a difference between forgiving and allowing others to continually hurt us.  We can forgive a person who treated us wrong, but we don’t have to allow them into our lives again so they can keep hurting us.

I know forgiving is not easy; it might be one of the hardest things you do and it is usually a very slow process.  Sometimes it may feel like you take one step forward and three steps back, but each step is worth it. When we forgive we love ourselves above everything else – above our toxic emotions, above what people say or think, above negativity and hate – And as we rise above we feel lighter and happier.

By Manuelita @manuelitaotero

What am I Good For?

Although this may not happen to everyone, I have always believed that one of the toughest moments we can face, especially if you are close to or past your thirties, is the crisis of not knowing what to do with our lives. “I don’t know what I am good for”,
“I don’t know what to do”.   I have often heard phrases like this, not only in my own mind, but also from the people around me.  Each life is different and the reasons may be innumerable; we all have our own unique story.   

This could happen because we studied what our parents chose for us, because we took that job opportunity everyone said couldn’t be passed, or because in our twenties we saw our future so distant, we failed to do a little planning or dedicate enough time to get to know ourselves better and to define our strengths.

This last one is my reason.  Even though I have studied and worked in many interesting things, I think that for years the day to day has taken over and I simply forgot to ask myself – often and without pressure – what are my strengths? What are those talents that come from deep within, which could give me happiness, satisfaction, and success?

Once I realized it, I started to pursue the answer. While doing this, I found a book called: Now Discover your Strengths by Marcus Buckingham and Donald O. Clifton - who worked in this topic with more than 2 million people around the world.  I am applying their advice and it has given me such peace that I am convinced something happens when you define your strengths.

The authors recommend filtering through 4 basic things daily activities to determine strengths: 

1st Be aware of your initial response in daily life and in situations of great pressure; in those spontaneous reactions, the dominating talents come out.  For example: if you are a boss and an employee tells you that he or she is going to miss work because their child is sick, what do you think first? Do you think who will take care of the sick child or who will replace the employee? (In the first reaction the strength is empathy and in the second it is organization skills) It is not about judging whether a reaction is good or bad, the goal is to reveal your strength.

2nd Review and “listen” to your wants and desires because those reveal a constant attraction toward your natural talents.  Your wants show your strengths from a young age, even though in many cases family, economic or social pressure may drown them.

3rd Observe what you learn easily, it is a clue of your talents.  You may have seen how some things seem easy to understand, while others are just too hard.  

4th Analyze your satisfactions.  Be aware of the moments in which you enjoy something.  You know when you feel in your zone, enjoying fully what you are doing.  

These four keys have been such a wonderful beginning to see what I am good for.  For example, with this method I discovered that at work I am really good at following step by step protocols and things that are organized, while at the same time I see ways to improve them and make them more efficient, and the best part is that I love doing it!

There is plenty of information about this topic and it has been reviewed by psychologists, coaches, and successful business people, but what really matters is if you take the time to simply ask yourself what do you love doing.  

By Ana

Life’s More than a “to do” List

“I haven’t done anything today!”  That’s what I say many times at the end of the day as I look at the long list of things I need to do.  And believe me; I am not proud of this.  Not that I didn’t do anything, because that is not true. On the contrary, I usually do more than I can believe possible, but for some reason I have decided to label many of the things I do as “not that important” so I don’t count them.  I wonder when did I decide that buying groceries, paying bills, cleaning the house, and driving my children to their activities shouldn’t be counted as part of the important things I do?  Why do I sometimes feel so unproductive even though I haven’t stopped during the whole day?

Don’t you feel there is a daily battle with time? It goes by so fast and we want to do so much: We have loved ones, our own projects, obligations, and work and we just don’t seem to have enough time for everything. Women are constantly on the go, working at home and outside and organizing everything needed for their homes to run smoothly.  I admire women, not because I am one, but because women are amazing and sometimes we don’t celebrate ourselves enough. Realizing this has helped me overcome the “not enough” mentality, and now I celebrate me and all that I do. It has helped me focus on what is important, to slow down and enjoy the moment and at the same time be happier. We don’t get more done when we are in a rush, we just feel like we do. To be honest I am still learning, so I wanted to share what has helped me feel more productive each day:  

Make a list: I love lists! But at times I have a love-hate relationship with them because I tend to write too many things, so obviously at the end of the day all I see are the things I haven’t done and  I end up feeling discouraged. I have decided that it helps to write down everything I need to do to remember it later, but I now choose the three things that I have to get done that day and after that everything is a bonus.   

Schedule time for you: Do what you love each day.  We need balance in our life and we can’t continue doing everything for everyone and leave our preferences and passions for later.  If you love to paint, make time to paint, or take photographs, or do exercise or have a coffee on your own… Whatever makes you happy, make time for it.

It takes a village: When I say “I haven’t done anything today”, my seventeen year old daughter quickly reprimands me, and I can’t tell you how much that helps. Find people who are close to you and ask them to let you know when you are speaking negatively about yourself.  

Watch the time thieves: I am so proud of how organized I am with my time until I decide to pick my phone up and then 30 minutes are gone just like that.  Social media is great, just not all the time because if we allow it to, it could steal not only our time and productivity, but the opportunity to enjoy our surroundings, to awaken our creativity, and to build memories.  

If we are not careful, life can become a long list of things to do, and who wants to live like that? When we worry so much about “doing”, we may stop enjoying ourselves, the people around us, and the things that we have.   Define what matters to you, not what people expect or demand, but what is important to you. Once you have your priorities clear, trace a realistic plan to achieve them without losing your peace. Celebrate all you do, even the little things because that’s what life is, a compilation of lots of little moments that become memories. Enjoy your today.

By Manuelita @manuelitaotero

Me First Once in a While…Why Not?

Do you remember that joy that you would feel when as a little girl or as a teenager your parents would allow you to go to that road trip with your cousins, or to the party you really wanted to go?  

Many times we would approach our parents or the person who was taking care of us and shyly ask for the special permission. Most likely, if our parents saw that there were no risks, they would let us go, making us the happiest people on earth.

As I look around now in my life and the life of my friends, I feel that nowadays  we are forgetting to give ourselves those “special permissions” we wanted so badly as little girls.  We are saying no to small things such as a free day for ourselves once in a while, an afternoon at the spa or at the beauty salon or watching our favorite program… little somethings that make us feel happy.

It seems that as time goes by we allow guilt to grow, to the point that it steals our capacity to “spoil” ourselves in a good way, to take care of us, and to do things that we enjoy.

I say this because I have noticed that when I give myself a little something, I feel I have to justify it to others.  I say things such as “I haven’t bought myself anything in a long time”, “I really needed it”, “there was an incredible sale”, as if there is need for an excuse and it is not enough that we bought ourselves something because we love ourselves.

That guilt  is a clue of what could be happening, and it is stopping me from treating myself as the precious and valuable woman that I am..  I don’t have to think that I am a bad mom or a bad daughter because one day I put myself first when it was time to choose something to do or buy something.

Many times out of “respect” for others we do not give ourselves the things that we enjoy because guilt stops us and that guilt usually only exists in our imagination.

To give ourselves time, peace, freedom, trips, clothes, massages, experiences, and many other things should be something that can happen any day. It is good to give ourselves little somethings each and every day of our life.

By Ana

Vacation Everyday

Close your eyes and think about your favorite vacation.  Can you see it? Are there certain smells or foods that take you back to that moment? Can you remember how you felt?  

I wonder what makes vacation time so amazing, and I am not being sarcastic by asking the obvious.  I really want to analyze that “vacation feeling”, because I would like to replicate it in my daily life. Could that be possible; to bring a little vacation into my every day? It just doesn’t feel right that we wait a whole year to have just one or two weeks of that glowing feeling we get during vacation.  There must be other way.

What makes a vacation? Is it freedom from worry, not having a schedule, or time with family?  Not having to cook? Doing nothing by the pool or exploring the outdoors? What if we tried to incorporate those things into our week? We seem to turn our life into a routine when it doesn’t have to be.

I started a list of some ideas to bring vacation into my days, and since everyone’s “vacation feeling” is different, maybe you can continue it with your own ideas:   

- Celebrate with your senses:  During vacation our senses are more awake.  It seems that everything smells fresher, tastes sweeter, and looks brighter.  If we take more time and pay attention to our surroundings we can experience this more often.   

- Spend more time outside: Do you have a balcony? Could you take your lunch break outside in a park, or work outside for a while? A little time in the sun can brighten any day.  

- Dress up or dress down: Many people love vacations because you dress up for dinner, or dress casually and relaxed.  Why should your day to day be any different?

- Make time for your favorite sports: Do you love a sport but don’t have much time to practice? Make some time for it, even if it is only once a week or once a month.  The important thing is to take that first step.  

- Try new foods:  Instead of going to the same restaurant and ordering the same thing, why not visit exotic restaurants and try new foods?

- Make time with family and friends:  Any moment can be made special with family and friends. Sing in the car, talk, play cards, make meals last longer… Create memories.

- Relax and take time for yourself: Schedule some “Me time” by doing what you love at least once a day.

- Take an electronic break: We don’t realize how much time we spend on social media and our electronic devices.  Disconnect more often!

- Drive with the window down listening to loud music: Driving is a perfect opportunity to unwind. Listening to your favorite music and singing along is a great way to bring that vacation feeling into your day.

- Visit new places: Check out what your city has to offer and get ready to discover your surroundings.

I truly believe that with a little practice, that vacation feeling where we are adventurous and see everything as a new experience can be incorporated into our life. Get ready for a little vacation every day of the year.

By Manuelita  @manuelitaotero

In the Moment and Loving It!

The other day we traveled to Miami where we met a special friend who was visiting the U.S.    We went to a place called Wynwood Walls, an amazing area full of giant canvases on warehouse walls of color and life.  It was so revitalizing to be surrounded by so much creativity that my daughter and I just kept saying how happy we were to be there.  I loved every minute of our visit. I was happy to be with the people I was with, not thinking about the menacing gray skies that were promising rain any minute, the chilly wind, or the fact that we had a long list of things we wanted to do.  None of that mattered, because we were enjoying the now.  I must confess, not every moment of my life is like that.  My head is usually full of dispersed thoughts and often I am trying to do several things at once.  But that day I was completely engaged in the moment and I loved it; now I want this to be the norm and not the exception.  

Have you ever gone on vacation and as soon as you arrived you got sad thinking that in a few days you would have to leave?  Or waited for someone special to visit you, but kept thinking that the time will go by so fast that soon they will have to leave again? Or as my mom and I sometimes do, we sit down for lunch and while we eat we start thinking what we are going to prepare for dinner.  Learning to live in the moment takes a lot of practice because usually our minds are full of many things.  We keep going from one thought to another without stopping to enjoy the present. Even if it is hard we should not be discouraged, it is worth to keep trying to slow down and “smell the roses” not only because it is a wonderful way to live, but also because enjoying the now greatly benefits our body and mind.  According to an article by Harvard Health Publications, mindfulness, which is living in the moment,   improves well-being, physical health and mental health.  It helps relieve stress, treat heart disease, lower blood pressure, reduce chronic pain, improve sleep, alleviate gastrointestinal difficulties and it helps in the treatment of problems such as: depression, substance abuse, eating disorders, couples’ conflicts, anxiety disorders and obsessive-compulsive disorder.

An article of Psychology Today states that mindful people are:  “happier, more exuberant, more empathetic, and more secure. They have higher self-esteem and are more accepting of their own weaknesses. Anchoring awareness in the here and now reduces the kinds of impulsivity and reactivity that underlie depression, binge eating, and attention problems. Mindful people can hear negative feedback without feeling threatened. They fight less with their romantic partners and are more accommodating and less defensive.”

These are enough reasons to get us excited about living in the moment, aren’t they? But the question is, how do we do it? I think deep inside many of us may know the answer, but for some reason we just don’t seem to find the time to put it into practice.  How about starting today? One small change in our habits could help us enjoy each moment even more. 

Here are some ideas to get started:

• Eat without distractions (that includes electronic devices, writing or talking on the phone).

• Eat slowly, look at the food you are about to eat, and focus on the aroma and flavors.

• Do one thing at the time.

• When sitting down with someone for a coffee or having a conversation, put your phone in a place where it can’t be seen.

• Look at people in the eye when they are talking to you.

• Take time every day to do something you love.

• Face problems; deal with one at the time.

• Make a list of things to do. Include in it time to do what you love.

• Celebrate what you accomplished during the day instead of focusing in what you didn’t do.

• When feeling overwhelmed, close your eyes and take a deep breath.

• If possible, take a nap, even if you don’t sleep, just close your eyes for a few minutes.

• Take time to drink your tea or coffee without distractions. Even if you have to get up 10 minutes earlier, it will be worth it.

• Be aware of your surroundings and enjoy them.

• When giving instructions, do it slowly, one thing at the time looking at the person’s eyes to make sure they are understanding you.

• Be flexible, let things flow.

• Read just for the pleasure of reading.

• Be aware of your thoughts; you can decide what stays and what goes.

Living in the moment is all about being completely engaged. Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi describes it as flow, a “complete absorption in what one does”.

It is possible to fully enjoy each moment we live, but remember that being mindful is an intentional focus, so for many of us it will not come naturally. But with practice and determination it could become a way to enjoy our everyday situations. 

 By Manuelita  @manuelitaotero

 http://www.helpguide.org/harvard/benefits-of-mindfulness.htm

https://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/200810/the-art-now-six-steps-living-in-the-moment

Freedom To Be Me

Have you ever felt angry all of a sudden?  That used to happen to me all the time.  One day, frustrated of that feeling and the way it was affecting me and those around me, I decided to investigate the source of that “sudden” change in me, which would take hours to get rid of.  This was the first step in the right direction because I no longer ignored things and waited for them to go away. I decided I was going to go deeper and understand it. 

After many years of “silly” fights that would often turn into ugly arguments with my then boyfriend, now husband, I seriously told myself: “It’s neither fair nor healthy to live like this”.  So I started the quest to find the cause of my anger.  I’m still not sure how the process started, but once I was willing to be more vulnerable and honest with myself I finally understood that the anger I was feeling would usually manifest itself when I would betray my principles, my essence, my beliefs and the things I enjoyed, even if they were small things, such as choosing the flavor of my ice cream or the type of pizza I wanted. 

That anger would come out when I would do what others wanted me to do, when I was doing things just to please others and to avoid confrontations.  I was taking away my right to accept myself the way I was. The saddest part was that I didn’t even realize that the things I was doing and saying were not really who I was. 

So, where am I going with all this? I think many women have felt this and sometimes they don’t take the time to face it.  Nowadays we live in such a hurry; we have so many commitments and responsibilities that we lose communication with ourselves. We tend to put in our list of priorities our family, our job, our friends, leaving no space to be on our own and spend time just thinking.  Sometimes we go to the movies, or to a party or we take an afternoon to catch up with friends, but many of us fall into the trap of believing that is enough time to dedicate to ourselves, when in reality it isn’t because those moments are with others, which are great, but are not time alone.  We need to be comfortable being on our own; we need to enjoy being by ourselves. When we don’t spend enough time alone we start to disconnect from our essence and from our personality. The key question is: How do we avoid the masks we tend to use and stop betraying ourselves? The answer may not be easy and it is very personal.  It depends on you, your lifestyle and your story, but just asking the question is already a step forward in the right direction. 

In my case, I started realizing that I needed my space.  Accepting that I was getting upset because I was acting the way others expected me to act was the hardest thing to do, but the first step to letting me be me. 

By Ana

Time to Stop the Wheel

When I was in school, my mom would congratulate me for doing well, and she would tell me how smart I was.  My reply was always the same: “I am not smart, I study a lot!”  And when someone would say how pretty I was, I would smile politely and say “thank you” but inside I would think that they were just trying to be nice.  What were they seeing? Were they blind?  Years later I finally realized that it was me who was blind. For some reason, I felt I was not good enough. It was hard for me to receive compliments and also hard to say nice things about myself… I would think “that is not right, is it? To be saying how special and how beautiful I am?”

There is pressure for women coming from every front. We want to be wonderful moms, sexy wives, faithful friends, good citizens, healthy women, productive workers, and caring daughters.  These are just a few of the roles we play each day.  Often when we try to do it all, we forget who we are and what we really want.  

Do you ever feel like a hamster on a wheel? Moving at the speed of light to get everything done but feeling you never get anywhere?   And we know it!  We continually talk about needing to take some time to relax, or to do what we like, or to face certain issues that we know are affecting us, but we never seem to get to them.  We just don’t take the time to slow down, to get off the wheel and just stay still.  I wonder what we are waiting for? No one is going to do it for us!  

Do we want to spend our whole life trying to keep up? Or do we want to enjoy where we are?  I know it is not a tough question, but if we are honest, we know that to be able to really enjoy our life we mustknow who we are and love ourselves. 

Have you ever seen those women who glow and you just can’t tell why?  Yet, others look beautiful, may have the most amazing outfit, but something is missing?  People may call it the “it” factor, I like to call it the “you” factor.  When you know who you are and how valuable you are, it shows.  I am not saying you or everything in your life is perfect, but you are happy, enjoying the moment along with the mess and the imperfections. 

It's time to take a moment for ourselves.  It's time to close the magazines with all the “how to” advice and diets that promise perfect bodies, it's time to ignore the books with the 10 simple steps to achieve anything and everything.  It's time to have an honest conversation with ourselves.

I tell my daughter that when she feels she is lacking flow and when things are just not clicking, to get her journal out and write.  Start by asking questions which will lead to more questions which eventually will lead to answers and yes, more questions.  It's a great way to be truthful and really find out who you are, what is bothering you and what are you missing.

Do you want to get started?

Make a decision: Do you really want to start living your life to the fullest? If you are serious about it, once you make the decision, nothing will stop you.  We can be very determined once we make up our mind.  Decide to get to know you, to listen to your inner child.  Dream big and do fun things. Decide to love all of you, imperfections and all.  

Be good to yourself: Think about this… Would you talk to your friends the same way you talk to yourself? If not, why? Be kind, be patient, be good to yourself.  I will give you some news: You are not perfect, neither am I, no one is! Don’t let great technology and awesome filters make you think otherwise, and don’t think that everyone lives in those perfectly decorated homes in which everyone is always smiling.  Those are just commercials selling a dream.  Trying to reach out to be our best, is much more fun and motivating than wanting to attain perfection, which is impossible!  Check your standards in all the roles of your life, are they realistic? Or are you basing them on magazine covers and society’s values? Why are you allowing others to dictate how you feel about yourself?

Stop complaining and do something: Sometimes we expect for things to change, but we keep doing the same things.  How do we suppose our attitude will improve if we spend the only time we have for ourselves with group of friends complaining about our children, about how busy we are, and criticizing our neighbors? How does that make us a better person?  

I loved this advice from the book Savor by Thich Nhat Hanh and Dr. Lilian Cheung:  “Don’t just wait for your negative feelings to pass; complaining will not change your life. Change your thinking and let go of limitations you impose on yourself.”   

Getting to know ourselves is a very exciting journey that will change our perception of things.  We are amazing, interesting, talented and beautiful women. It's time to decide the direction we want our life to take. 

By Manuelita  @manuelitaotero