Decisions, decisions

How many decisions do you make each day? I was curious, so I googled the answer and according to some sources an adult makes about 35,000 conscious decisions each day.  I have no idea how they came up with that number, but it makes a good point. We make a lot of decisions each day. Many times our decisions are related to daily routines based on habit. But some decisions are special. Deciding a career path, a school to attend, to leave a relationship or to make a commitment with someone, to apply for a certain position, to move, to buy, to sell… Some decisions are simply not easy. I have had to make some of those “big” decisions in my life. One of the biggest was to leave Colombia after my divorce and come to the United States with my two children (with the permission of their dad of course.) This decision was especially tough because it not only involved me, but it affected the future of my children and their dad. When you have to make these kinds of decisions, you stare at the options wishing there was a way to look into the future. 

The groundwork to making good decisions is established even before the options come knocking at your door. Most of the time it is rooted in self-knowledge. The decisions you make will be related mainly to you, so the better you know yourself, the better decisions you can make for yourself. Simple, isn’t it? Of course not. Knowing ourselves is not that easy, mainly because we don’t take the time to intentionally get to know ourselves, and if we do, many times we are not willing to go deeper and peel the many layers that make part of who we are. The good thing is that getting to know ourselves is a process that lasts a lifetime. 

You may agree that self knowledge is great and you have it in your list of things to prioritize this year, but what if you are facing tough decisions right now and you really need some answers? Let’s look at some things you can do now to help you make those decisions: 

-Make a list of pros and cons: The easiest way to start the decision making process is to make a list. Who doesn’t love lists? An honest pros and cons list helps you organize your thoughts and weigh the options. 

-Think about what makes you happy, really happy: The pros and cons list is a way to document the logical part of the decision making, but the emotional part is not as simple to identify. When making a decision, ask yourself what would make you happier? This may not be the only thing to consider, but it is something that you really need to think about.

-Do the homework: Once logic and emotions have been documented, you need to spend some time investigating your options so you can have actual data. We can’t make decisions based only on what we think or feel. We need facts.

 -Try it before you buy it: If you have the opportunity to put into practice the thing you are trying to decide, do it. Maybe you could audit some classes before choosing a school, or volunteer in a certain field before choosing a career. Obviously this may not be possible with all decisions, but the more you know about your options, the better you will choose. 

-No fear allowed: Fear is a big factor when making decisions because many times it keeps us in our comfort zone and stops us from expanding and experiencing all we can.You will feel fear when making decisions, we all do, and that is ok, but the key is to not let fear make the decision for you.  

-Focus on the now, plan for the future: There is a tendency to keep looking toward the future and miss the present. We tend to think that we will be happier “when...” and life goes by as we wait for that when. The present is all we have and we need to live it fully. Make plans, prepare for an amazing future, but don’t forget to live in the now. 

Whatever decision you are facing, know that most likely there are many variations of the options you have in front of you. Think “outside the box” if necessary and don’t let others choose for you. Make time to get to know yourself, and appreciate that having to make decisions is a good thing, it means that you have  options. 

My “big” decision turned out great. Of course there are consequences and things are not perfect, but I feel I made the right decision in a very difficult situation and my children are in a better place because of it. I must say, the best thing was how much I learned about myself and that is always worth the journey.  

Manuelita Otero