Now what…

Writing for me is like therapy. It is liberating to give order to my thoughts, to be able to document feelings and protect ideas from being forgotten. Sometimes I look back and the things I wrote make sense, but more often than not, writing is a channel where there is freedom to let go- which means random thoughts all over the place. This may be one of those writing opportunities in which I am just downloading thoughts and feelings without a specific order, because nowadays there seems to be no order, no way to plan things, no clear path, and allowing ourselves to write everything we are feeling is not only ok, but necessary. We need to give ourselves an outlet to express our frustration as everything around us is changing. As I write, I am allowing myself to take out some frustration, sadness and helplessness. I am not being pessimistic, that is not my style, I am just being honest. Things are tough, the world is upside down and the phrase “it’s just a lot” comes up way too often.  

We, all of humanity, are going through challenging times. The world seems to be on fire, in some parts literally! Hunger, poverty, loss of jobs, political unrest, discrimination, climate change, horrific violations of the most basic human needs, hate…. The list seems to be endless and as we live in the middle of a pandemic,  I feel a little lost. I am asking myself… “now what?” It’s like when you have so much to do that you feel exhausted just trying to figure out the starting point. The problems we are facing seem so big and so overwhelming that it feels there’s nothing we can do to make a difference. That is how I feel right now, unmotivated to do anything and very concerned about the state of humanity. But as I said before, pessimism is not my style. I have learned that I have to carefully guard my thoughts. I have learned to pause, listen to my feelings and then find a way to act, to do what I can, no matter how small it may be. For me, action is an outlet, a bit of hope that helps me see the good in each moment, and I need that, because no matter how terrible things are around us, life is still a gift that needs to be appreciated moment by moment. 

I don’t have an answer, I don’t have a solution or even great ideas. But I do know that if each of us does something for someone or for a cause that breaks our heart then things will improve, even if just a little. Small beginnings should not be ignored, every movement started somewhere. We can’t sit back and do nothing, allowing our hearts to go numb. We need to pause, listen to ourselves, listen to the pain around us, educate ourselves and do something. Every move in the right direction is worth celebrating and who doesn’t need a little celebration these days?

Manuelita